Monday, May 02, 2005

How to embrace a new life

by Anne Zelenka
Shortly after I moved to Maui, locals told me "Maui either embraces you or chews you up and spits you out." This must be Corollary A to the Principle of Island Fever which says that if you are some haole* transplant to a Hawaiian island, you will soon suffer mainland withdrawal pains, mostly from having to shop at Wal-Mart rather than Target.

But I refuse to accept the Principle of Island Fever and the Corollary of Maui Mastication and Spittoonishness. Maui will not chew me up and spit me out as though I were a wad of tobacco being worked by some wannabe Apprentice. I am the person here, not Maui, despite its being named after a Polynesian demigod. Maui is just a chunk of volcanic rock; Maui lacks arms to embrace and a mouth to chew and saliva with which to spit. I will be the one doing the embracing. Or the spitting out.

Therefore, I will be searching for ways to embrace Maui since it looks like I'm stuck here--er, I mean, living here--for the next year and a half.

*haole /how'ly/ someone who is white or foreign.

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